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Day after day I just get more and more tired. I had two days off a couple days ago and still, by 4 my eyes are closing...sheesh. It's not late...but I feel like falling asleep right now. However, I CAN'T!! Argh! I still have to plan US History for tomorrow. I hate to say it, but i really don't enjoy that class. I don't like the subject much at all and it's like pulling teeth to get myself to work on that class because I just don't like the material and the kids are less-than-enthusiastic, which makes sense since I don't like it myself. I'm so tired with trying to keep up with Gov that I just can't think of anything good for US. I have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow. They were great today. Usually they act up a lot but they missed me from when I was gone and they were SO good and they actually wanted to learn the stuff after having been confused for so long.
I love my 7th period. I just love them. They came in today cheering and whooping that I was back. And they were all falling all over themselves to tell me about the sub (I haven't had them since last Thursday because of our crazy WASL scheduling). They tried to trick me into promising not to leave again and then one student stopped joking around and he was like, "Seriously Ms. Burdick, don't ever leave us again...that was awful..." I think one reason why I like 7th is because by the time I have them, I totally know what I'm doing and I get really into it. I get so excited because I love this stuff and I know it all by 7th and I get very animated. Today I worked myself up into such a frenzy that I made myself sick. We were talking about the cult of Stalin and we watched some clips on collectivization (7-8 million died or were killed) and about how much the Russians idolized Stalin. I read to them an excerpt from a letter to Stalin where a guy was gushing in flowery, over-the-top language about how wonderful Stalin is and it just made me sick, physically sick. I had to pause reading because it just made me sick to think about how much people idolized him and how after he was gone, so were 40 million of his people (6 million Jews died in the Holocaust, anywhere from 10 to 60 million died under Stalin, not including WWII).
My afterschool visitors have slowed down a bit, which is good, because I really should work but today I had a few stop by to have me sign camp waivers for them to be camp counselors. I love when my kids stop by and I love when they want me to know about things. I'm tired all the time, more and more as I go, because I work too much and don't relax enough or get any sleep because my brain keeps working even after in bed and sometimes anxiety makes me unable to sleep. But, the more time I spend with those kids the more I love what I'm doing. Once they leave...haha...reality hits, but without that I think this would be a lonely profession.
However, they say you only have your first year once and oddly enough, I'm nearing the end of mine. Crazy. Well, I don't know what I'm going to do about tomorrow...my poor US History class. But, I'm falling asleep so I'll figure something out...
Reflection: Not too bad. Very tired. Need sleep and a transplant for the US History part of my brain.
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2 comments:
US history. that's what my father teaches. i never really got into it that much... maybe it's because we're such a young country. there just isn't a lot there.
you could always divide the room in half... arm everyone with wads of paper and have a civil war... after two minutes of throwing back and forth, you count how many wads off paper are on each side of the classroom. the winner is the side with the fewest wads of paper. draw analogies as you see fit.
Warning... this may get the class really crazy excited... and it might also use up energy and help them draw various connections. that was just an idea that came to me.
i definitely understand the "favorite" class thing. it's what gets you through the day. and i think you need a roommate. its not good to live alone. okay... ryan's two cents are spent.
grace and peace.
i'm not sure if this is relevant, but given your exhaustion all the time i'm thinking you should check your blood pressure to see if it's too high. too much stress --> high blood pressure --> exhaustion. i'm worried about you... your living on the point of breakdown sounds familiar to me, and part of me wonders if its the lack of social interaction outside of school. i remember at college i told a counselor one time that part of why i felt so terrible was because i was living one role - the role of a student - 24/7. and i had no other outlets - no time or resources for other outlets, mostly no one to interact with. anyway, we'll talk more on saturday.... hang in there!!
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