Humbled

I came to school today with renewed energy. I had conversations with about 5 new colleagues today, just because they congratulated me on having received praise and gratitude from my students. Although they didn't know what the note said, they said that I must be doing a good job to have students who already respect me so much. Those girls not only encouraged me, but they have really given me a boost in getting to know my colleagues and for that I am so thankful.

As if I wasn't flying high enough (and probably flying high because of the caffeine from my 16-ounce, Caramel latte with caramel sauce, extra hot), I snuck into the workroom and stole a video-announcements DVD to watch it before school started. I don't have a 2nd period class so I wouldn't be able to see it otherwise. I was somewhat nervous but I realized that if it was bad the admin wouldn't have let them put it in. They cut anything that is even slightly bad (one of the many bones my students have to pick with the admin) so I knew I'd be ok. So, it is mostly about the new building, then it gets to my scene.

The screen is black. The only sound is the slight bird "cooing" of probably 5 or 6 students.
Through the black appear the words, "Who is....The Burd?" (hahaha...I laughed) "It is our favorite Government teacher, Ms. Burdick!" They interviewed a few of my students as to why I'm a good teacher and had some of them over the top of a video of me teaching. One of them said, "Before Ms. Burdick's class I thought the Supreme Court was the final stage of the NBA playoffs." and another said that the reason I was his favorite teacher was because whenever my students have a problem I take time out of my own personal time to help them. Of course, while he was saying that the picture widened and Ryan was standing behind him flapping his arms (I laughed at that too...haha). They said something like the reason one of them liked my class was because it wasn't like me teaching and them learning, but that it was like we were both students (which sortof made me nervous, I'm glad we're buddies but...I...well, anyway) just talking about history. It ended with the words, "Thank you Ms. Burdick. Newport *loves you* (flashing)!" I was so touched.

The rest of the day my students kept coming in and making bird cooing noises (I figured out what the sound is like. It's like a pigeon...weird) and cheering me for being teacher of the week. It embarassed me but really encouraged me. One of the counselors visited class today (to remind my seniors that senioritis is not a note they can get signed by their doctor to be absent from class...) and told me over and over about how many good things she'd heard about my class from the students and was genuinely adamant that that speaks loads about my class, because our kids have no qualms about complaining about teachers.

Also! We did a simulation today. I was a little worried about it because I didn't fully understand it myself, but it went awesome!!! So well!! And it was with my 4th period too, a class that I've been struggling with off and on. They loved it and really got into it, paid attention, and I really actually feel like we bonded again as a class!! Whohooo!! Praise God! We'll see how Friday goes but today was a victory!

Though recently I have been very down on myself because I've let the students' moods affect me so much, today I was reminded over and over that these kids are kids with tough lives. They will be moody and I need to learn not to base my own value on what they are showing me when they are having a rough time. In fact, one thing I learned today was that it is precisely in those times that I gain the respect I've gained. When those kids are having a tough time, even when they insult me or respond negatively, that is when I can minister to their needs the most. That is when it is even more important for me to love them and stay positive. I need to develop a tough skin. I think it will take a little longer for me to grow, but I now realize the importance. It is by grace that I have managed to show care to those kids while still feeling self-doubt.

Reflection: This year has been hard, but God did put me here for a reason and I am so thankful that he has been really using my classroom, for me to minister to those students in their need and make them feel comfortable and welcome, and for my students to reflect that value and appreciation when I am still learning to develop it myself. I am very humbled my their praise and thankful that God leads us through our weak times.

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