Wishful Thinking

There are times when I become incredibly immersed in my own thoughts. Many times it is right before bed or right after I've heard a beautiful or haunting piece of music or after I've finished a book in which my heart has gotten so wrapped up that at the end I feel like I've lost something. It's strange. In those moments I wish.

I just finished a book that enthralled, scared, surprised and saddened me. I am glad I finished it before it's too dark because I might have been scared on my own. It was a web of a story and now I find myself sitting in my chair wishing.

I wish that I could breathe.
I wish that I didn't have to go to school tomorrow.
I wish that I knew how to fill the time tomorrow.
I wish that I could go for a walk.
I wish that I had someone to talk to about that strangely beautiful time of evening when the sky is bright and dark at the same time.
I wish that I felt like cleaning.
I wish I wasn't so restless.
I wish I didn't make things more complicated than they are.
I wish I didn't complain so much.
I wish I wouldn't get so wrapped up in books that I practically break my heart along with the characters.

I wish I could just wander outside all night and enjoy the fresh air and get lost in the smell of spring.

Reflection: Today was pretty good. I'm still having trouble breathing and I was somewhat depressed about what to do tomorrow about my kids. Rob is going to meet with me after school and try to problem-solve. But, I think because I'm working so hard to breathe, I just don't feel like doing anything and that makes it hard for me to focus and feel like doing stuff with the kids. It's not a good attitude for a teacher to have. I'm praying that tomorrow the Lord will bring some wonderful idea to my head so that I don't get stressed. I'm glad it's going to be Friday. Oh yeah, lol. Third period had the "stunna-shades" again today since Yumi wasn't there on Tuesday to see it. She wasn't there today either! haha! So I'm wondering if tomorrow is going to be "Stunna-shade" friday as well!

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