Worked hard...want to go to Evensong

I worked hard as long as I could all day. I need a maid. I couldn't get anything done because I didn't have clean dishes to eat anything out of and no clean clothes. I spent a good ammount of time cleaning house and then I was so lost as to what to do about school that I didn't get much done. I was so positive about this week when I was planning it last week. I should try to stay that way but since I know I have an observation coming, I'm not as positive. The lessons I have this week are fine...but not really good lessons to be observed in. Tomorrow we're researching in the library and Tuesday we have a catch-all day to finish up the odds and ends of China that they won't get in presentations and then our block period and half of Friday will be presentations from the kids. So...I am still alright with it becuase I know that I will have time to plan Mexico this week and to spend more time on US. For me this is a relatively hands-off week, which I like, but it doesn't look like good teaching....it looks like I needed a break...so anyway, that makes me a little displeased. I guess I'm just going to try to have a good week and if I get observed and it sucks again, I'll just have to remember that Patty said she is going to keep me no matter what the HR lady says. Hopefully that will make me less stressed out. Part of the reason I planned it this way was to keep myself from getting to stressed, so I need to just remember, it's ok that I have a week like this sometimes, even if I might get observed. You know, even if I lost my job...I think I'd be ok. At this point...I'd be tired...but I'd just go back home and sleep for like...2 months...haha. I'd get a job at Starbucks. I'd like to keep my job, but I don't think its worth getting stressed over keeping it.

On another note, I made scones today, mostly because I was so dissatisfied with my work. But they were really good. Cherry scones with almond glaze...oh man...so good. And on my way home from my parents house tonight (i needed a visit again...man, I'm getting so homesick recently) I listened to the radio. It's so funny to me because I am so in love with music. It doesn't matter if it is mid-afternoon or morning or late at night, whenever I hear choral music I just...I dunno...I just swoon, haha! I think there is this yearning within me to just find that kind of peace that seems to come from choral music. The last couple times I've heard pieces like that I have just really wanted to be transported back to Europe when we would attend Evensong. I thought about going around here but I never thought of it when I wans't listening to the radio. But tonight, driving home it hit me again. I can totally understand how services like that, especially back when traditionally they were more important, could bring people to understand and yearn after the heavens. When I hear it I just feel like my heart is soaring out of my body...it's weird. Kindof like in the Bible when Mary visits Elizabeth and John the Baptist jumps within his mother, the Christ is coming! It's kindof like that, my heart (or something!) jumps within me just pondering the Christ! Anyway, I need to find an Evensong to attend, even just once...but my heart is yearning within me.

Reflection: Blech, but the scones were good!

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