Too many questions

The day ended up better than expected, I think. I woke up and instead of staying here and cleaning I took my computer and my reading for class and went to this new place I found not far from my house. It is a coffee and cupcake shop. I absolutely love it and I'm going to go there more. I got good coffee in a fun red cup and saucer and a yummy cupcake. The shop was quiet, the staff was friendly, and there were lots of comfy chairs and a nice big table for me to work on. I got a lot of reading done.

After that I was a bum though, haha. I drove around and explored, made an appointment to get my hair cut, got fast food, wandered around a store, and ended up back at my apartment around 5 and finally tried cleaning up some. Cleaning made me tired so I took a long nap, and then read some more tonight. I didn't get as much work done as I wanted, but I got more done than I expected to. So, I guess that's ok. Tomorrow I'm going to go to work early enough and hopefully spend all day there getting everything done that I possibly can. That way I can enjoy Wednesday with friends.

Man...so much is coming up...I don't know how I'm going to get everything in...blech.

Tonight when I couldn't read any more I started looking around at facebook and blogs and things...I've been so happy with the way my thoughts have been shifted in the last month or two. I've stopped worrying about things that I have been trying to conquer for years (of course, I still have other things that I've had to deal with, but still...I'll be happy at least with the battles I can win). Tonight reminded me of some of those past issues and I didn't so much worry about them, but consider changes. I wasn't unhappy with the changes, but it made me resort to a God Talk. I talk with God alot, but only in certain circumstances to I write down a God Talk. They're all saved in a file on my computer. i just open up a word document and start writing. I talk through things with my Lord. This time I talked and, as usual, I didn't come to conclusions, just lots of questions and questioning my own questions and motives. After I finished I went back and read the last few God Talks. They just showed me that when it comes down to it I've still lost some things that I can never gain back and that still makes me sad if I think about it. However, big changes have come and those are happy. But, basically, as I read those I began thinking about peace. It was a word repeated through many of them. I just needed peace and although I've been finally given peace in those areas...I dunno. Do I really know what peace is? Can you have peace and still have sadness? I think you can...not a destroying sadness, but a peaceful one...anyway, I don't know. But I thought about that for a while...and I found it interesting that Ryan wrote about peace today too. I think it's something we all need a little more of.

Reflection: I sometimes wish that my mind didn't have so many questions all the time. That questioning mind of mine has been the cause of many of my problems/issues. My parents used to restrict me to 2 questions at the table...I sometimes wish there was some little person in my head that would still do that, restrict me to only 2 questions. In happier thoughts, cupcakes and coffee are a superb combination.

Related Items