To Try Not to Sleep

This may be somewhat incoherent but I am trying not to sleep (airport run at 3:30 AM). I am at Conference and have a lot of things to reflect upon.

Last week I was stressed with moving and trying not to be depressed about how few of my friends were coming to Conference this year. So far, if I had my normal attitude I would be incredibly depressed.

As an intro to this story, I showed up to Conference a little early to spend time with a friend. When I got there they took me to the cafeteria and I ate with the PreCon crew. I got to eat with a different friend of mine, Andre. I felt guilty because I didn't go to PreCon this year and left Andre without anyone his own age. He gently chided me for not going and we ended up having a short, but good conversation about role. Andre is one of these encouraging people that I love so much in my denomination. Andre is a silent leader. He is gentle and kind and easy-going. He went to PreCon because it was the right thing to do for himself and for him to be able to talk to and be there for the younger adults. He admitted that it was sad that so many our age were married or couldn't come, but noted that it was important to just enjoy those who were there. I took that to heart.

As Host Committee for Conference, many things have gone wrong. I am so tense that my shoulders are in incredible pain. I had a very bad first day because of all the little things that were going wrong. It stressed me out and made me somewhat angry that people hadn't checked these things. I was embarrassed for the Host Committee, of which I am a part, and frustrated with a variety of entities because of the missed details. I am a perfectionist and want whatever will reflect back on me to be done well. Plus, it doesn't help that I normally solve problems and am always around. Because of that, people keep coming to me instead of the Host Committee Chairman so I keep having to do things that are not my job and really, getting stressed out trying to solve things that I should not even get involved in.

ANYWAY, after the third big upset of the evening last night it was 11:30 and I was finally going back to my dorm and I was just drained and not positive. But, I realized that so far that day had already been good. Ua showed up (I squealed and got flung around in a huge hug. Ua is well over 6 feet tall) and many people I hadn't seen in years. As I came back to the dorm I went in to a room that had some people in it hanging out. I don't normally hang out with those people. I still consider them friends, but I don't hang out with them a lot. Since my typical crew is not here, my Conference has been so much more enjoyable. I don't feel obligated to make plans and I have just been going with the flow. I enjoyed that time so much. I wasn't rushed. I didn't have places I had to be or felt I should be. Then, as I was coming back to my dorm at least relaxed more, I heard Aubrey's voice. It's rather distinctive--Wisconsin drawl. She screamed and I gave her a huge hug. For the next hour and a half I laughed so hard. Aubrey is, hands down, the funniest person I know. I laughed so hard that my abs hurt afterwards and my stress and irritation had disappeared. I realized that I was having a wonderful, though less common, time.


All day today I've gone with the flow. I didn't sit with friends in the meeting, but with my cousins. I taught a Youth about Reference and Council. I didn't turn down getting coffee with my Dad and Uncle Norm (they're trying out all the coffee places in Newberg and evaluating the best roast). I sat at a table tonight with a variety of older young adults (26-30) for almost 2 hours and talked SDB polity (I love that about Conference. It is supposed to be a time to encourage each other in our own lives and support each other's ministry. I absolutely love how I can sit down at a table at Conference and quickly begin talking about deep issues like the Lordship of Christ, Covenant relationships, congregational and associational polity, tithing, etc., and not because I bring it up, but because the conversation naturally flows towards theological issues). I didn't worry about not being back in time so that my friends don't disappear somewhere I can't find them. I just enjoyed the people around me and then came back to the dorm and got to know and encourage new friends.

I usually have a good time at Conference but it is because I'm on a mission or because I'm hanging out with my typical friends.

Reflection: There is great peace and joy that come with just experiencing the people the Lord places right in your path.

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