Relapse

I definitely need to reflect this time.

This week is going to suck. I knew it but I was trying to think positively. Well, I got to school this morning and I was so stressed out, just thinking about this week.

However, there is good news. A group at the school sent out an email last week about starting up a prayer group!!! Let me tell you, it was such a blessing. This morning I had to get to school even earlier than I was going to have to, but at 6:45 there were 8 of us who met to pray for our students, our colleagues and our school. It was such an amazing experience. We didn't pray for ourselves at all, but when we finished I felt so refreshed and positive. I was glowing when I returned to my room and felt so built-up from having just spent 10 minutes meeting and praying with other Christians in my school. I'm very much looking forward to our monthly prayer meetings. I can see these people becoming good friends, and that is another plus. I was happy all day, despite the stress, because I had started the day out with prayer, and remembering that I am here as an ambassador for Christ.

The day ended, and I had a visit from an old gov student. We chatted for quite a while. Then she left, I got Starbucks, and the **ahem** hell began. I worked and worked, still positive. Then, it hit me. It was 7:00 and I was nowhere near where I had to be. I won't go into the details, but I have parent night tomorrow night, an observation on Friday and the preconference for it Wednesday (thus, the materials need to be finished by Tuesday at 9:30). It was Monday night, 7:00 and I was so stressed. I started crying, right there in my dark room (the lights shut off if there is no movement). I don't usually cry about things like that until I come to a point where I don't know what to do next.

Basically I emailed my VP and he rescheduled my pre-conference for Thursday (WAY better). I am now less stressed, but still somewhat stressed. I have much planning still to do, am still getting over being sick, and was at school from 6:00 AM until 8:10 PM. It's like a relapse into first-year-teaching.

I came home and Jessica was already asleep. That sucks. I have no cooked food and need groceries for tomorrow, have reading to do and well...man...this sucks.

Let's think positive things. Sleep is good. Maybe I'll skip working tonight and just suck it up tomorrow.

Positive: Johnny told Quincy (one of my current students) that he's already got a time set to come visit me on Thanksgiving break.

President Ahmadinejad of Iran visited Columbia University (look at the news, it was a huge stink). I came home tonight to a long message from Kasey (good student, attends Columbia, but we never clicked all that much...just whenever she needed help). She had a very exciting day and was so excited (and laughing because she said she sounded like a nerd) about the political controversy she was in today at school. "Its fascinating to be in the middle of a debate over the first amendment and its interpretation. I remember in class how we discussed how it is continually changed and experimented with. A lot of students are very vocally upset about giving such a large podium to such a small minded bigot, and deeply resent the university's invitation to have him participate in this event. They say that by letting him step on the stage, we are accepting his policies and views as a valid argument and worth debating." She continued that, "I could listen to the pres of Iran and weigh what he was saying against what I had learned about Iran during our study. This was unnecessarily long, but thank you for teaching me and equipping me for the real world!"

I am SOOOO proud of her!

In every day there are good and bad things that happen. Today was a very stressful day, but it began and ended on an encouraging note. I just have to make it through this week. Please pray for me tomorrow. I will be at school from 6:30 until around 10:00 PM. It will be a long day, and one where I will not be able to get as much planning done for my 2 block periods and my observation.

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