Teaching is exhausting. Let me back up.

School started Monday.

AWESOME things:

• For the first time since I started teaching I have been able to read novels for a few hours when I get home!!! Or take naps!
  
• My kids rock. I knew they would, but seriously...I think this year is going to be great!
  
• Because the district isn't evil in making us teach the curriculum web, we are actually getting together to collaborate on our own to improve the web lessons. It's actually quite awesome. I love collaboration and already the Foundations curriculum is starting to look better!
• I went home at 3:30 today. This is the first time I think I have gone home that early since I've been teaching. This was partly because I chose to go home instead of work more. But...this is still an accomplishment! I am learning to keep balance! I am learning that I don't always HAVE to work more. yay!
  

Not so awesome things:

• Jumping full-speed into teaching is never advisable. Much of the time I feel confused.
  
• I was at school Monday until 7 PM (THAT's NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN THIS YEAR!)
• I messed up homework the first week and confused all my students
• Last night I was up until 1 AM and got 4 hours of sleep, was rushing so much to get ready in time today after sleeping past my alarm that I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest, and felt like completely collapsing after my two 90-minute periods today.
  
• I have to change classrooms which makes me even more confused than I already am and makes me hate the "bean counters" even more.
  

So basically, my classes so far have been pretty good. The first day I was so excited about my lesson that I may have talked too much...but seriously, it's unnerving to have a class full of kids just staring blankly at you since you don't know them and they dont' know you. But, the strike has really done crazy things to my head. haha! Sunday we voted to go back to school and Monday morning at 6:00 AM we were all in the building hurriedly trying to piece together our first day from the materials we had left off in planning two weeks ago. Not only did I have to shift my brain back into "ok...this was the framework of how I wanted to lead kids into the class in the first few weeks...which means these lessons and these readings..." but I had to remember what classroom policies I was going to put in but my materials were still in sketchy shape from two weeks before....man, I'm still confused.

The kids were ready to be back but many of the teachers have been struggling all week just to remember what we were going to be doing. Plus, I realize it's our own fault for going on strike, but now all the first week things are being condensed and it's pretty overwhelming.

Day 1 we came in with little prep and no real mental preparation
Day 2 we had a staff meeting which meant no time to plan for the next day to get ourselves back into the mindset of, "Oh yeah...this is what i'm doing." So, the confusion lasted the next day.

Within here is switching classrooms. Not only remembering, "This is what I'm doing today," but "How many copies do I need? How many do I need in this classroom, how many for that classroom? Do I have time to copy and put them in the room I'm moving to before class? I need to remember to go to 2121 and write the agenda on the board. Am I forgetting something...crap...I did forget something. What should I do about that? How am I going to have to arrange things to be able to transfer back to 2103 quick enough to start class on time...should I leave the documents open or will that create technology problems when I plug into the docking station in 2103 like last time..."

AHHHH! Now you can see why I was losing my mind. In the process of my mind wandering off I messed up homework assignments and had to totally rewrite today's lesson plan, all 90 minutes of it...blech.

Next week is spirit week AND Parent Open House. That means that I will not get a chance to get ahead until at least the end of next week.

Tomorrow is going to be hell.

1st period--7:30 -- 90 minutes, Freshmen class in my own classroom.
Pick up all my freshman stuff and get it out of the way for when Ed comes in to my room 3rd.
Gather up all my Gov stuff (praying that I didn't forget anything for the 90 minutes...) and transfer myself, my open laptop with documents ready to go so that technology doesn't make me lose time, my clipboard with my lesson plan-supplemental docs-and teacher copies, probably a latte, and 2 huge laptop carts down the hall in "rushour traffic" to 2121. All in about 8 minutes.
3rd period -- hopefully start on time. Hopefully remember everything. 90 more minutes of walking and talking and having lots of energy.
Then, pick up all that stuff I lugged in, hopefully it's all back together after being tossed apart after I used it in class. Make sure I didn't leave anything, set it all back up again in my own classroom.
5th period -- do 3rd all over again, hoping nothing was left. 90 minutes
THEY LEAVE...I collapse... it's lunch and I had 3 classes straight through with no break.

Oh yeah...and I need to remember my seating chart, my barcode sheet and the textbook scanner...I'm gonna forget. I just know it.

Reflection: I really do like my kids...but I will be happy when my head is on straight again.

I'm back to school tomorrow. I will have to get there at 5;30 tomorrow to be ready in time and even then, it will be a stressful day for a lot of teachers trying to get things ready and get back in the mindset/remind ourselves what we need to do on first day....and figure out how to deal with the students after the strike.

Pray for us! BUt, thanks for the prayers throughout the whole conflict. They have been much appreciated.

Even though I left Bellevue so I wouldn't watch the Board meeting with the parents, I watched it via streaming over the internet. I liked that much better than being in the room.

Some things:
The room was absolutely packed
Many people were very angry
They all want the kids back in school NOW
They were more mad at the schoolboard than they were mad at us. The blame seems to have gone to them instead of us (yay!)
They overwhelmingly spoke against an injunction
They want our community healed because they saw this as being very destructive
They want to lobby the legislature to increase teacher pay
For the most part, they support the teachers. Many support but want this to end. Others support and say they will support us no matter what.
A bunch of principals spoke, all speaking warmly of the Curriculum Web, as did the School Board at the end, despite all the negative feedback from parents about the Web...which also bothers me. I want to move back to Bellevue just to vote those people out of office.
A few people called out our standing Superintendant much better than we ever could have done. A few parents addressed issues I've been wanting someone to address.
3 students spoke: 2 were from my school. They both spoke against the teachers based on what "we were doing to them." I am still sick to my stomach about that.

They're not kidding. Those parents were pissed. They don't understand why this can't be resolved and they demanded that the school board work through the night to fix this strike. We've been wanting that all along. The District keeps finding reasons not to meet. We've been through 2 mediators. There were at least 3 parents who spoke tonight that had been mediators in their professions for years and who had teachers AND administrators in their families and whose kids attended our school. I don't see why they don't ask them to help since they appear to me to have everyone's interests at hand.

That said, I feel very strongly that when it comes down to it, the parents support us...but they don't like the strike, which many still attribute to us...which is proper. I feel that if the district serves us with an injunction it will be a bad decision because they will not have given both parties the chance to go back to the table with that new knowledge of parent views to inform the bargaining. I also feel it would be a bad decision because the parents did not support it. (phew!)

That being said...they have half an hour before they will decide what action to take...

If the injunction happens, I can pretty much guarantee that I will lose my motivation to teach this year and I will begin to consider other districts for the following years...as much as that is paintful to think of. If the community can turn that attitude and the feeling of lack of respect around then I may convince myself otherwise, but the damage that this strike has caused on my own confidence and passion for teaching, the disrespect I have felt from the district and from the students is enough to cause me to consider options i never thought I would consider. I recognize that this district can give me much more than many other districts, but is it really worth it if the cost is loss of passion, respect, and support?

I don't know. That is what i have reflected on very seriously for the past three days. I decided today that I will not be leaving the district at this point. Even though I could just say, "Listen...if you can't trust me to teach then you'll have to find someone else. Good luck finding someone good in that short amount of time." That would be foolhardy and frankly childish. If I was an administrator I wouldn't hire me knowing that I left my district in the middle of a strike while my contract was still being negotiated just because I felt disrespected. Plus, with the lack of teaching jobs there would be no guarantee I could get another one for a year or two, even outside the state.

Anyway, in happier news, I went to facebook to look at a facebook group that a student cited in his speech (which, by the way, was misrepresented in numbers...), and ended up finding another group entitled, "You know you go to Newport when..." and it seriously had me laughing all the way through. Since these things are really only funny to the people who go there I won't list them all, but faithful "bloggereaders" may appreciate some of them:

You know you go to Newport when:
- You think that 3 AP classes is an “easy” course load
- You drive: an asian car (Honda, Toyota…) or german car (BMW, Audi, Mercedes…)
- You understand when a significant other spends more time with homework/studying than with you
- You think that the 38% Asian is inaccurate (it’s too low)
- You/ all your friends: are/were in the band/orchestra/choir
- You know at least 3 people that are in the district illegally
Your parents work(ed) for Boeing, Microsoft, a hospital, or their own law firm
- You think more about your transcript than your weekend
- Everyone knows at least one word in Korean
- At graduation there are three entire rows just for students with the last names Lee and Kim


Ok, time to drive back to Kirkland...blech

This makes me almost cry and it makes me more resolved to do what I'm doing.