probably my favorite bill

By | 1:03 PM Leave a Comment


S. 5
To Protect the Endangered Dugong

In the Senate of the United States of America
October 20,2009...

Be it enacted by the United States Senate and House of Representatives

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE
This act may be cited as the "Save the Dugong Act of 2009."

SECTION 2. PROTECT THE DUGONG
(a) IN GENERAL. -- The United States will set up a task force led by Captain Paul Watson, in which he will patrol the waters of Northern Australia and Indonesia in search of poachers and prevent them from hunting these defenseless and beautiful sea cows. Since the Dugong is on the endangered species list, it is already illegal to hunt these sea sirens, but the Dugong is still not being protected as well as it should be. Therefore, Paul Watson will go out, search for poachers, and after provocation of obvious attemps of poaching will put these scumbags under arrest and punish them.
(b) In order to affect the forgoing, we will clone Captain Paul Watson, enabling him to have enough free time to lead this task force with his clone army and prosecute the poachers.

SECTION 3. PENALTY CLAUSE
Any persons convicted of this heinous crime will be fined $100,000.

SECTION 4. AUTHORIZATION OF APPROPRIATIONS
To raise the appropriate funds to fuel this agenda, volunteers passionate about the cause will sell cookies in the shape of the graceful dugongs in order to spread the message that the lady of the sea needs our help.

....
The Information to convince the committee included these pictures that make it that much more hilarous.


0 comments: