Some of My Students (this will probably be long)

So it's been another late week. However, for some reason I have tons of energy. I don't know how I'm doing it. Last week I was completely beat and was angry all the time, and this week I'm getting less sleep but have energy and am positive. Anyway, because I've been so engaged in my work until late hours, I haven't been able to sleep well because my mind is on adrenaline or something.

I've been wanting to write about my students for a while but I haven't done it because I honestly couldn't think of anything to say about them. I haven't bonded with my students as much this year as I did last year. However, today I all of the sudden realized things about my students.

First I'd like to tell you about Andrew. I love Andrew. He's such a wonderful student. He's eager, cheerful, respectful, and completely intrigued by the class. Hehe, that always makes a student fun for me. But even more than that, Andrew is just...good people. He's one of those students who sees you in the hall and completely stops what they're doing and where they're going just so that they can make sure they say hi and acknowledge you.

John Yip is loved by one and all. I don't think there is a mean bone in his body. Every single day (and I'm not joking about this), he walks in, takes his seat in the front row, and with a good-hearted, kind smile, says, "Good afternoon, Ms. Burdick. How are you?" And the thing is, he really wants to know. Every single day, John makes me smile. Even on my most stressful days, John's greeting loosens me up and makes me smile. It's amazing what a kind smile can do, just fill you with pleasantness. John is also a genius but is so humble. He attends my Knowledge Bowl club (I ended up the advisor by default) and he's so cute because he always knows all the answers but he will answer until he gets so far ahead that he just quits guessing. It's so funny because I know that he stops answering so that he can give his peers a chance to catch up, he's just nice like that. But his peers don't notice! They just know they're catching up to John and he just sits there smiling, enjoying himself, until they've caught up and then he starts guessing again. hahaha

Jasleena is a beautiful, intelligent girl. I'm very concerned about her. We have hardly talked all year and that makes it all the more difficult to express my concern to her. She started having sketchy attendance after winter break and when she is in class she doesn't smile and looks completely unengaged. But it's the look of someone who is burdened, not just bored. Today she came in to get some makeup work and since it's been bugging me the last few days, I just asked her, "Jasleena, is everything ok?" She stopped, turned around, thought for a second. Then, slowly she said, "Well, there's a lot of stuff going on right now." I didn't know what to say after that. I sorta botched it, by saying that I knew she had missed a lot of school and I didn't want her to fall too far behind. I let her know that I'm here if I can help in any way. She emalied me after that and said thanks for the offer of help and that she didn't want go fall behind either. It bothered me because I felt like she interpreted my comment as more pressure for her instead of an offer for help. So I emailed her back and cleared that up.

Rob was in my room when I emailed her back, and he really got me thinking about the students today. Rob is amazing. He's a veteran teacher and I seriously want to be like him. The students adore him and have him up on this high pedestal. He's creative and very academic and I just...I pray that in 10 years I teach like him. The cool thing is that he's taken me under his wing and has been mentoring me. So many times he notes that we are very similar, in many different ways, and I agree because I totally identify with the things he says about his class. I'm also very flattered that he thinks we're so similar in a lot of ways because I seriously want to be him. But today I asked him what I should write back to Jasleena and explained the dilemma. He said that he thinks that we're both very similar in that we are so passionate about what we teach that we don't always bond with the students in ways outside of the classroom. We care about the students but that passion may seem to pale in comparison to our passion for the content. We are passionate about the content because we are passionate about our students, but that can mean that we don't know our students on the level that makes tricky conversations comfortable. ANYWAY, he said I should just be honest with her. So I was. We'll see how it goes. If anything, she knows that I care about what's going on in her life, whether she decides to take it farther than that or not.

Ok, new kid. OH! I've got a good one! So, my 4th period class has reached a grand total of 2 citizens of the European Union. It's quite exciting. Robert has opened up a bit (he's my Brit kid) and though he's not that chatty, he and I have had our moments of bonding and he is finally talking in my class. This week I added my second EU student. She's from Sweeden! Her name is Susanna. She also has an awesome accent and she's very sweet.

The student that I would like to end with tonight is Michael. Michael has a special place in my heart. He is one of the few students I've had more than a year. Michael was in that hellish US History class I taught last year and he was one of the reasons it was so hellish. He's smart but he's also a smart-alek. Actually, the more I've gotten to know Michael, I've decided he's not as much of a smart-alek as he wants to be seen. He's really a good kid. He works hard when he cares about something and he wants approval, just like all the rest of them. Last year Michael was too smart for my class and so he was a pain. He was always talking out of turn, saying things that shouldn't be said, and being a royal pain. I suggested that he take AP Gov as a senior and to my astonishment he said, "AP Gov...ok." And sure enough, this year he showed up in my class. I felt like groaning (and I did for the first few months). But now...even though he still makes the sarcastic comments, he interrupts less, he does his work (most of the time) and he has hung around once or twice to talk about some things that he reads in the news. Lately we've really had a breakthrough. He emailed me some things he found interested about gun rights (he's very right-wing) and since then whenever I see anything about gun rights, I mention it to him.

Ok, so...I will get to the point (can you tell, though, that I'm completely dumbfounded by how much Michael and I are finally connecting?). Today I was so proud of that boy. I'm actually feeling kindof choked up. He didn't show up in class today and all the kids were asking me all these weird questions about fights and what's allowed and why you can't fight back when someone punches you in school, even if it's self-defense. Finally I asked them what the source of all the commotion was. Michael had gotten in a fight. There is a kid at our school who walks around blasting this stereo. M had asked the kid to turn it down (probably very sarcastically, hence what comes next) and the kid punched him. But Michael just took it. He didn't punch back, because he is an expert about what is allowed and what is not allowed in school, because he was one writeup away from suspension. So instead, he just stood there and the kid totally beat him up. The kids were very concerned about him, and I was too! They didn't understand why Michael had to just sit there and take it, why he couldn't defend himself. But in those moments I was so proud of my class because even though Michael is often an annoyance, the whole class was concerned about him and I felt like we were so close in those few minutes. Michael came in to talk to me after school to get what he missed. We were doing court cases and I had to do his 2 because he was in the office. He made it very clear that he had tried to explain to the office that he REALLY had to get to class today and he apologized for not being there for his court cases. He was willing to look up all the court cases on his own (which, probably, he would have enjoyed). The first thing I asked him was, "Are you ok?" And you know what? I don't know why he would have been emotional, but I think he was! He gulped and then he just said, "Well, I couldn't punch him back. So I just stood there and he just kept hitting me." Then he looked up, and just shrugged and sat there for a second. I told him that we were worried about him and that's when he started apologizing. Anyway, I'm starting to realize that even though he's a challenge, I've grown quite fond of that student and even though today he got himself involved in a fight, I've never been prouder of him because he knew what he had to do, and he didn't fight back.

Reflection: This week has been a long week but I'm doing good things and so all the hard work is worth it. And you know, as I'm learning with Michael, things will work out in time. I really do love those kids. I know I work hard because that's just how I am, but I honestly don't think I'd spend ALL my time (this week no TV at ALL!) working if I didn't care so much about those kids, even if they don't care that much about learning it. It doesn't matter. I want to give my best to them and I want them to think back on High School and whether they remember much about government or not, I want them to remember that there was a classroom where they felt comfortable, they enjoyed a classroom of unity, and where they belonged. And, even if I don't have students staying after school to talk all of the time, I know that they love my classroom and they love their classmates and, that's enough.

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