S. 5
To Protect the Endangered Dugong

In the Senate of the United States of America
October 20,2009...

Be it enacted by the United States Senate and House of Representatives

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE
This act may be cited as the "Save the Dugong Act of 2009."

SECTION 2. PROTECT THE DUGONG
(a) IN GENERAL. -- The United States will set up a task force led by Captain Paul Watson, in which he will patrol the waters of Northern Australia and Indonesia in search of poachers and prevent them from hunting these defenseless and beautiful sea cows. Since the Dugong is on the endangered species list, it is already illegal to hunt these sea sirens, but the Dugong is still not being protected as well as it should be. Therefore, Paul Watson will go out, search for poachers, and after provocation of obvious attemps of poaching will put these scumbags under arrest and punish them.
(b) In order to affect the forgoing, we will clone Captain Paul Watson, enabling him to have enough free time to lead this task force with his clone army and prosecute the poachers.

SECTION 3. PENALTY CLAUSE
Any persons convicted of this heinous crime will be fined $100,000.

SECTION 4. AUTHORIZATION OF APPROPRIATIONS
To raise the appropriate funds to fuel this agenda, volunteers passionate about the cause will sell cookies in the shape of the graceful dugongs in order to spread the message that the lady of the sea needs our help.

....
The Information to convince the committee included these pictures that make it that much more hilarous.

Mock Congress is over and I'm trying to catch up on all the grading of all the bills I should have graded as they came to me...

as I was grading away I came across this bill that I would like to share with you.

HR. 1
To setup regulations in the event of an extraterrestrial visitation

Be it enacted by the Senate and the House of Representatives of the United STates of America in Congress assembled,

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE
This act may be cited as the "Incongruous and Discordant Act of 2010"

SEC. 2. REGULATIONS REGARDING EXTRATERRESTRIAL VISITATIONS (ASSIMILATION/EXTERMINATION)
(a) IN GENERAL. - The United STates Code lacks the proper procedure and protol to any foreign visitations or encounters by an extraterrestrial population within the entire span of our nation's history and, furthermore, lack an agency of the United States government that may draft plans or redundant solutions.
(b) In order to effect the forgoing, the following language shall be inserted in to the United States code:
- upon passage of this bill (and hopefully before an extraterrestrial encounter) the United States will transmit public service announcements through all media transmissions promoting the construction and/or purchase of emergency supplies and underground bunkers.
- the establishment of a sect to the United States Homeland Security Department which will deal directly with unearthly foreign visitors. This sect will be called Special Tactics and Reconnaissance Squad (S.T.A.R.S).
-In the event of an arrival of an Unidentified Flying Object, the area within a 30 mile radius of the landing site will be evacuated and quarantined as it becomes a temporary property of S.T.A.R.S
-Due to the unprecedented situation of an alien invasion, future drafts of rules and regulations will be proposed and subject only to a 1/3 vote of the Senate and subject to Presidential signature.
(c) In the event in which the United States accepts the existence of an extraterrestrial population insomuch as we attempt to assimilate them into society, the following language will be inserted into the United States Code:
1. An Alien may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. An Alien must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with 1 above.
3. An Alient must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with 1 or 2 above.



His evidence for the committee contains testimony about a spaceship above Johannesburg, South AFrica, information about relocation of the 1.8 million aliens to District 10, and other various pieces of "evidence" demonstrating the need for emergency alien procedures.

Granted, his bill needs some work. But...it gave me quite the chuckle.

Well, I have figured out what to do about the impeachment, have figured out how to make 5th period's food policy bill go into limited effect and thereby save me from 1) the management disaster of having all 4 of my classes able to eat food and 2)having to look like a killjoy. It will also give me a stellar intro into the next unit. I'll post my presidential signing statement if I am forced to use it.

And, the biggest reason I decided to update two days in a row is because today I remembered once again that God's got my back. When I got to school this morning, starting to think about all that I was going to have to deal with...I had an incredibly wonderful email from a student I graduated two years ago. And then, they kept coming! I got another one from another student at lunch and I got a third one just now! As I'm ready to do my devotions and head to bed I am reminded about how well my Father takes care of me. Right when I need encouragement, even over something silly, He sends it. Each of the kids wrote nice long updates about what they're up to, told wonderful stories of how they've used what they learned in the class, and were genuinely interested in things about my life that I had shared with them when they were in my class.

So God, this is my formal thank you, for taking care of me.

Well, I almost got impeached by the House of Representatives this morning. It was a rough day. They read an 8 page bill that included 3 articles for impeachment this morning on the floor. Then Mr. Lang came and gave expert witness that I was a known communist because of my association with the Newport Social Studies Department. The kids presented evidence that they had found a communist flag in my car (which is funny because I do have one in my closet...just not in my car) and that I was a card-carrying communist (photo shop...although I was NOT born in 1976...). It was pretty funny. I laughed a lot at the beginning and I laughed at their evidence, but after hearing 8 ungrateful pages of why I should be impeached I was only intermittently laughing because I was trying to be a good sport. I know they were kidding for some of the things they said, but kids aren't that good at realizing when it might be going too far. They realized it while it was being read out loud on the floor though, because it got pretty tense in the room.

Anyway, i just spent half of my lunch helping 5th period figure out how to get around my veto and agreeing that I would sign their food policy into law only if they made it relevant to their class only (using my presidential signing statement and powers of persuasion)....gee, 3rd period, that sure shows "frustrating the passage of laws and interfering with committees." Anyway, I talked with my colleagues at lunch about what to do about it. I really have no idea what is involved in the process specific to each house and I thought maybe I'd let them carry it out. But, I'm not now because it's too complicated and it will take time away from actual passage of legislation.

In the end...I want to be a sport about it, but honestly, I think my feelings are a little hurt because it embarrassed me. I know, from my colleages, that wasn't what they were intending, but even when you don't intend to hurt people's feelings, it sometimes happens.

ANYWAY, i did think it was funny that I finally had a class get smart enough and realize that if they want to keep me from vetoing legsilation they have to impeach me. And, I'm proud that a House of Representatives finally figured out how to make their simulation intersting (because the Senate is the one with all the fun powers). But, yeah...I guess...I didn't realize until I started sharing it that my feelings are hurt.

Once again, I'm here grading. I'm actually totally behind. School has been great this year because I've been able to find more balance to my life. Between school, buying a house, and finding time for a personal life, I've managed to get away from school more often. Usually this works out well. Right now I'm incredibly overwhelmed with backed up grading and some issues with the house I'm buying. BUT! I'm here grading, I have a day off Friday, and I have a day off and a visitor next week!

And, in the midst of grading I got a big smile.
Rayden calls out "Ms. Burrrrrdiiiiick!" everywhere: every day when he comes into class, in the hallways, and now, apparently, in his homework submissions.

So I'm supposed to be grading. I am...but grading is best done with breaks inbetween. I am online on turnitin.com. Students have to log in with an email address and some of them are just making me smile. When I saw the first funny one I started paying attention. Here are a few I'd like to share with you. How creative we all get with our email addresses!

Reid - youareweird@....
Winston - riceninja@....
Kevin - alloftheabove@...
Anna - ifancyuX3
Youny - loonyuni
Jenny - hyper.howling.wolf (and let me tell you....she is!)
Nicole - foxylemur@....

I just am interested where Winston became the rice ninja and when Nicole decided that lemurs were foxy.

Ok, so my freshmen are taking their final, and I'm trying my darndest to get all this grading done in time. But my eyes are starting to bug out of my head because usually freshmen essays are incredibly formulaic and blech....

so...haha. I present to you an excerpt from Christina's that made me get a huge smile on my face. Her essay was one of the best that I read but there was this excerpt:

"Even though the social class divisions were similar there was one major difference in Hand and Rome. In Han, the pheasants were under the government officials and above merchants. However, in Romee the pheasant farmers were just above the slaves because they were not as wealthy as the Roman merchants. The pheasant farmers in Han were higher up because Han depended on the food they produced to survive."

Ah, those Roman and Han pheasants...

Some of the kids I love:

This day is always one of my hardest days all year. I think it even beats having to be alone on New Years. Today is the day I have to say goodbye to the students I have grown to love so much. Tonight was especially hard. I've had a week already of an emotional roller-coaster, full of constant emails and tears. Back and forth about whether students will pass, back and forth and digging through files for the one who won't...anger from parents. Final projects were due; stress mounted when I couldn't grade them because of the parent situation. Crying because the parents wrote a 2 page email to my principal about how much of a failure I was and how that represented the Newport AP program. Crying because these kids just stole my heart this year.

I always am sad to see them go, but this year I just had an exceptional group. At the teacher tunnel (where the kids walk through to give us hugs, tell us how wonderful we are, and cry a lot)I didn't get a whole lot of encouragement but I saw almost all of my 100 students and though they didn't say much, they cried a lot. And, for the first time in my life, I cried in class. And I cried at the teacher tunnel.

Whenever I have written on here, I've written about my 5th period class. I have never met such a loving, fun, funny, spunky,talented, intelligent and hard-working class. They were the class whose incredible mock Congress, dolphin bill and Christmas-tree bill will forever live on in fame. They are the class who came to class dressed up in costumes for our Nigeria simulation, just because they wanted to. They're the class who spent weeks writing and making a class movie. They are the class who used First Amendment Fridays to ask me about my personal life. They're the class who would tell me multiple times a week how much they loved the class. They laughed together, and in the end, we cried together. Our movie was a hit. It was incredible and it created an even stronger bond in that class. On the last day of class we premiered our movie, complete with red carpet, paparazzi, and oscars. The last award they gave out was to the "Best Producer." They said wonderful things about how they felt in my class and how much they appreciated my production of the movie and the class. I got up in front of those kids I loved so much, having known all week that I was going to cry. And sure enough, when I gave my acceptance speech I choked up. The kids were shocked, especially since Taemin calls me 'the wall.' I didn't sob, but I wrestled with my emotions to try to control them enough to talk. I told them they were right. When I walked in to class last week to find Kyle (the sweetest kid ever)with his pants off in the middle of the room I screeched the class to a halt and yelled at them that the classroom is not a dressing room. The bathroom is. The next kid with his pants of will get a referral. As soon as I'd said it, 5th period bursts into argument, "But Burdick! We're a family!" Though I straightened them out that time, when I gave my acceptance speech I told them that I agreed with what they had said that day; we're a family. A lot of us cried, me included.

30 students were in my room wandering around on Thursday. Most of 5th period stayed all through lunch, dragging their feet about leaving. The Burdick Club, especially Taemin, were in my room after school every day wandering around trying to get closure. I was so stiff because I was so emotional as it was. In the teacher tunnel, i was fine until Andrew came up to me sobbing and I got teary-eyed, then Daniel M came to me, as soon as he said my name he started crying and I broke. I cried too. Amy jumped into my arms and Kyle made me cry again. I may not have gotten the lavish praise I've sometimes gotten in recent years and honestly, i didn't bond with all my kids this year. But the ones I did bond with, will remember me forever (and so will I remember them, especially since 4 of them have plastered my wall with pictures of themselves and changed my desktop background to match).

I had the worst drive ever, right after leaving the teacher tunnel, to drive down to Liz's wedding. The weekend was wonderful and distracted me, but last night it occurred to me how hard today would be. One day I will have a home and a family to come home to and comfort me like the friends I visited this weekend. But right now, what I have is my students. Coming out of graduation really seemed to sum it up for me tonight. I stepped out of the lobby into the elevator, out of the sea of noise and color and into quiet. When I stepped out on my parking level I was all alone. I walked to my car on my own and when my heels should have made cheery clips along the cement, the sound-proofing of the garage muffled my steps. And there was silence, even though I was walking. And I thought it was appropriate, though sad. Every year at graduation I leave behind what brings sound and color to my year and when they leave I'm on my own again, walking off to a quieter, duller life.

I don't hate my life. I love it. I don't want any lectures about how I need to do more things so that I have other things to add color to my life than my students. I just want to mourn this class because I love them so much. And I need to mourn quickly so that I can try to finish up this week...landlords return, i move out, final grades are due, freshmen essays and final, etc.

But it was a good year, though I will desperately miss Taemin's teasing, Jeff's thoughtfulness, Amy's neediness, Rahul's grin, Graham's mumbles, Kyle's joy, Paulina's laugh, Maria's jokes, Megan's thoughtful look, Danny's chuckles, Clyde's expletives and Ben's squeals at me that I didn't hear them. I know it was good. I know that they learned something. I know that for the most part, they felt comfortable in my class.

Reflection: Heartbreak is not happy. But it is now that I have my students gone, that I realize how important it really is to me that someday I have a family. When I ihave something to throw myself into I don't worry about it. But I look forward to the day when I have someone I can love as much and more than I love these kids and who won't go away. I find comfort in that and pray that I don't have to go through too many more of these heartbreaking graduations on my own.

One of 5th period's Globalization Theatre skits. I like it because of the WTO fairy! haha!

We needed a quick review and to deepen our understanding of globalization. Thus, Globalization Theatre: each group got a theme, 25 minutes, 2 sheets of construction paper, and had to create a skit that included everyone in their group. The hitch...one person must be wearing a costume constructed from the construction paper.

I liked this one because they gave it their own theme, and yet...the material is still there!

I am already starting to feel nostalgic. I’ve been taking lots of pictures and videos recently of my classes. I am going to miss them horribly. It has really been an incredible year. I have a wonderful group of students and my 5th period has just captured my heart. I really should write about all the wonderful things we’ve done this year but once I’m out of work and have time to myself I just want to relax instead of write.

But, tonight I was downloading videos and pictures of the kids and I decided 1) I needed to share some of the stories and videos, and 2) I wanted to look back at the videos I had from kids in the past. I realized I had forgotten some kids. It’s sad. I felt really awful. But I had forgotten I had those kids in class! Once I saw them, the names came back, but I couldn’t believe I forgot them. But as I watched the videos, even the classes that had been troubling at times brought a smile to my face. Think how many kids will come through my door by the time my career is over…

Anyway, my kids are doing projects and so far they’re all really interesting. 3rd period is leading the class on a tour of different countries (making a documentary, a travel guide, and then “taking us there” on one day in class). 4th period and 6th are doing individual projects, including a movie written in English, translated and spoken in spanish (with English subtitles!) on Guatemala, a video of the history of British government traditions in stop-action-lego photography (ha!), a breakdown of what would happen if WWIII started tomorrow, a mural, an incredibly accurate-looking National Geographic, etc. 5th period’s creativity and unity is at it’s all-time high again. They’re making a class movie. I’m not kidding. They have directors, writers, actors, set, costumes, camera crew and film editors. Everyone has a part that perfectly fits them. They’ve got a character web and today we started filming. It was a mess, but tomorrow will be better so…seriously, I’ll tell you more about it later. But suffice it to say, it’s incredibly awesome. It’s the story of the CIA overthrow of Mohammed Mossadeq, democratically elected Prime Minister of Iran because Britain didn’t want to lose their oil and we thought he was communist. It includes a weak Shah, an Iranian Princess twin sister who is strong, CIA agents, British undercover agents in the Shah’s household, military leaders, guerilla leaders, a crusading New York Times Journalist, secret documents, and a suitcase full of cash. And what’s awesome, is we’re not making it up at all and I got the kids to read 100 pages of secret CIA documents…

Ok, no more.

I am very bothered. I really need to get stuff done and I want to go enjoy the beautiful weather but I just really have to cry out into the cosmos! I just came from a staff meeting. This year, as a school we have attempted to craft a new mission statement to combat what many have seen as an erosion of our school community. The process has created a lot of dialogue and has actually been led by an incredible group of students. I respect them so much and wish I had them in my classes. Last meeting the staff chose 4 words we saw as being what Newport should define newport high school and the student were to take those four words and make them jazz with our 4. For the most part, it was actually really great. But there was one word that didn't jazz. The most important word we as a Newport Staff had highlighted was "Integrity." The students, though very accomodating and very useful (they took their "purpose" and our "curiosity" to make "discovery" which I think is better than both), didn't want to have Integrity because they thought it was a "hot" word.

I was horrified and I feel like I want to cry, which could be because I'm emotional today anyway (I just want that d*** test to be over!!!), but there just isn't another word to mean Integrity. And it hurts me to the core that the word "Integrity" is "hot" now. The kids associate it with cheating. It is meaningless to them if not seen as something evil. That makes me so sad. We talked about it in my small group, and actually, the ASB President joined us and I think what we said really struck home with him. He agrees that it's sad that Integrity has such a negative association for students but helped me understand why. But still, it cuts me to the core that "Integrity" has gone by the wayside. I work very hard to teach integrity in my classroom and although it's not perfect, I think it can be seen. Integrity when it comes to honesty between students and teacher, but even beyond that in consistency, in holding yourself to high expectations, and strength of character, that who we are is seen in the actions we take... It bothers me to no end that it leaves such a bad taste in so many mouths.

But what the ASB Pres said was true, I may teach integrity by example and by the expectations I hold my students to, and the reasons I give for things we do, but I probably don't associate the word with it...so why should students associate those things with integrity?

I think that is all the more reason to make Newport a place of Integrity. That it is sad that Integrity has fallen to such a level. I say, all the more reason to make it a priority in our school.

Because honestly...if integrity dies completely...it will be a sad world.

It's been a while and I know I haven't felt like writing. I think it's because I've found more peace about my classroom and my life. I don't feel the need to escape the overwhelming amount of work I have because, although it's a lot...I'm a more experienced teacher and I know I'll be able to handle it. I still work a lot more than I should, but I don't do much work on weekends anymore and when I get home I usually don't do anything, even if I bring work with me. Granted...I get home late, but there was a time when I would get home late AND stay up until 2. Now I just get up at 4....

I'm writing because I'm actually alert and I just finished grading Vocab Tests and found myself smiling. I realized I haven't updated you all in cyberspace about my kids. Last time I wrote I had had the kids reflect on what was going on in their lives that were giving them senioritis and I don't care what my colleagues say, it worked!!! It totally worked!! There has been very little senioritis in my class! My kids have been working hard, they've been staying focused, they're still positive!! Not only do I have an incredible group of kids this year, but I really truly believe those reflections they wrote me and the discussions we had really brought our classes together.

I want to tell you about a few kids that I find very special.

Jeff and Henry are quickly becoming some of my favorites. One day after doing test corrections in my room, Henry and Jeff came up to me and informed me, "Ms. Burdick, we're going to come to your room every day after school." It was strange. They both had barely talked in class before and Jeff had been kinda harsh in his reflection. But sure enough, they come EVERY DAY! It's hilarious. They come in, say hi, walk straight to the window and look out. If there are kids in my room they just hang around and say bye when they leave. When there aren't, they look out the window and comment on what they see and then randomnly interrupt my work to ask me questions about the pictures I have on my wall, stories about college, what I think about pop music, if I like movies, etc. It was like one day they realized, I want to get to know Burdick better, and now they do. And honestly, even though it's not like we have big, long, deep discussions...I really care about them. We have a special bond now.

Jeff wrote me a commentary on his vocab test. I'd like to share it with you because I think it's funny. (background: they have to get 54/60 to pass.)

After missing 11 questions...
34. You're killing me!
35. Developed countries
36. Hopefully I have only missed 2 so far...(?)
37. sovereignty -WRONG-
38. Judicial Review
39. Nationalism
40. fusion of powers
41. unicameral
42. theocracy
43. sigh...
44. I know this one...
45. Liberal Democracy! -WRONG-
**skip to bottom of page**
60. Well, see you next week Burd.

:-)

Overall, there are only 10 kids or so that I don't feel I have a strong connection with and I love being in my classroom. You can feel the camaraderie. There are smiles, jokes, and hearty laughter. I think that's a good learning environment.

Oh!!! And my program is officially established! After coming in cold turkey I once again managed to keep my 4 sections despite the fact that an easier, year-long AP class is offered as an alternative. Oddly enough, Tim's rival AP Gov class lost one section for next year but my class kept all 4 (despite my hard tests and heavy work load!).

Kristen, “College scares the crap out of me. I’ve always been excited to live on my own, to take classes I am actually interested in, but sometime recently (approximately last Tuesday, 7:12 PM) I realized how different college is going to be. I’m worried about my family, not because I need them, but because they need me. I don’t know what they’re going to do next year without me as chauffeur/grocery shopper/laundress/therapist.
Happy: rain, classical music, quiet, baking French bread, coffee, reading, problem solving, making funny faces, golden retrievers, writing in cursive.
Grumpy: loud noises, rap music, shopping, people who are stupid/ignorant/loud/pretentious/share genetic material with me.”


Sylvia: “Supposedly I wanna do computer science. Or maybe that’s what my dad wants. I can’t even tell anymore. …I love web design. But apparently it’s not a “realistic” career. I’d love to be a teacher…only again, according to my dad it’s not “realistic.” God knows why THAT’S unrealistic…”

Stephanie…”I come from a political family. My grandfather was a sentatoresque person fro Taiwan for forty years. He was elected in Nationalist Mainland China right before the Republic of China fell to the Communists. He then fled on a plane to Taiwan. He’s met Chiang Kai-Shek many times. I think that is my main reason for interest in government.”

“I need to do a thousand things and more. I need quiet. I need rest. I need to turn in my order for my graduation robe. I NEED TIME.” Nora

Maria’s is funny but true:
“COLLEGE!!
Different friends?
Should I like boys now or wait till college?
Will I get into the colleges I want?
Parents are bitchy
 It’s my last year here they should cut me some slack.
What’s my brother gonna do when I’m gone?
Am I scared to go to college?
UW or somewhere else?
Am I gonna change when I go to college?
Am I with the right friends? Why am I doing stupid shit? Why do I still care about boys
I’m lazy for no reason
I’ve changed and I don’t know if it’s good or bad.”

Farrah, #2 in her class
“I’m sick and tired of my friends who seem increasingly vindictive and fake. My parents are always on my case about everything even though we used to get along just fine last year. I’m tired of everyone expecting so much from me all the time. I want the freedom to be lazy and slack off but I’m scared of failing. I can’t wait to go to college, buit I’m so scared I won’t be able to go out of state because of finances and just not getting into a “good enough” school in my parents’ eyes…”


Erin told me about death and her experience with it this week. Maryam explained to me about all the death she’s dealt with this year and how she wants her ADD to go away. Nicole, whose parents split up two weeks ago, is concerned about how her little sisters are handling it and about her grandfather who has parkinson’s and could go any day now.

Many of them speak of loss of jobs. Brandon, in particular, who has been really dropping in this class…wrote two whole pages!!! About how he lost his job as a martial arts instructor and how eaten up he is all day thinking about the poor kids he used to teach who now have an instructor who is just in it for the money.

Melissa told me about the struggles she’s been having with self-worth and her relationship with her father, how she’s going to counseling because she’s split between two sides of herself. Melissa is seen by her classmates as being dumb. She ended this way and it seriously made me cry, “I’m happy when I get recognition and affirmation, when I feel like I’m loved and when I accomplish something important to me. I’m unhappy when I feel used, ignored, unappreciated, when I don’t improve or when I fail, and when one of my two sides is unhappy it is almost impossible for both of my sides to win.” That is a very eloquent and intelligent girl, if you ask me.

But probably my favorite was this:

John:
Happy
Flowers
Wetlands
Sunny days
Unicorns
Classical music
Ie Beethoven’s 5th piano concerto
Grits

Grumpy
Rain
Cold
Homework
Broken xbox
Pop music
Grape juice

The days since my anger at my students have been quite, oh…well, I guess…blech. The anger I felt made me literally torn up with anger until I left the building. I sat by the water for a while and after a long time of reflecting I felt two things 1) I was overwhelmed and burned out and 2) those kids would not be prepared for the simulation on Friday. After an emotional mental battle, I canceled the simulation, told my admin that I couldn’t host the visiting teacher observers Friday (a big deal for me, to tell someone no), and emailed my students to tell them not to worry about homework…we’d do it in class on Friday.

I determined that we needed to stop. We all did. Just stop. This week they had gotten lost and I had gotten angry and in my anger plowed on through. Friday we needed a day of reflection…which was strange. I never stop in my AP class and they know it, but I was convinced it was the right thing to do, though it scared the hell out of me to be so vulnerable with the class.

So today after our First Amendment Friday discussion, I asked them to take out a blank sheet of paper. I explained to them how irritated I was Wednesday just to be in the building and how my own reflections made me realize how important it is to just stop….to take time to think about where you are, especially in the middle of the rat race. I told them about grad school, about how I had this professor who, in the middle of the most intense time of our work, made us spend 45 minutes of class time somewhere in the building reflecting on life. At the time I thought it was bogus, but I ended up getting so much out of it and the class energy soared and confidence perked again. Parker Palmer says we all need space in our lives, time to be silent. It’s through these silences that we come to peace with things in life and have time to just breathe.

So today that’s what we did. I gave them three questions and I had them just think and write for 15 minutes. 1) Why did you chose to take this class over the other options available? 2) Write about life. What’s going on in your life? In school…out of school…family, relationships, college, etc. 3) What makes you happy? What makes you grumpy?

I can’t tell you how wonderful that was for us today. The kids wrote and wrote and wrote. It was crazy…it was like they craved that time to just stop and reflect. I told them that if they wanted to just reflect for themselves, they didn’t need to turn it in to me. But, most of them did and when I read them during lunch and after school today I was very emotional. They were very candid and I saw so much in their words that helps me understand how they’ve been acting. We talked as a class about how they feel right now and what we can do as a group to get through it. It sounds like a group counseling session but really, it wasn’t like that. It was like a problem solving session. I’m glad we did it because now it’s out in the open and we all know what’s going on and there’s no hiding from it. As the kids left they were smiling and calm and I practically had to kick each class out.

It was also good for me because I knew that there were probably other things going on in their lives that made them so distracted, but I had no idea. Because of the pace of my course I don’t get to talk to them as much as I’d like, to get to know them as well, but today I learned SO MUCH about them and I think they wanted me to know.

Only problem now is figuring how to get my work done. My tutorial has become haunted in recent days by adoring fans…who are confused about life (my first hint that it was more than just they were bored with the class) and are scared of the future. I had to remind myself this week that it is really for those times that I teach. I was feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to perform and forgot why I wanted to teach in the first place.

Things aren’t perfect. We’re still all tired and I really am burned out, I now realize. But…I could feel the love and support in those classes today…we’ll make it through.

I am so pissed off. I really hate my students right now and I don't really have that good of a reason why. They're confused. I can see that, but they complain so much that I keep trying to find new ways to teach them and then they don't try and when they don't try they get confused.

ARGH

So we have wasted days on end because they complain and then I change things and then they don't try and so it doesn't work so they get confused and then I get pissed off.

I need a vacation. And I need to scream at someone.

And I need to talk to kids about why they've checked out but they don't want to talk to me and I honestly don't want to talk to them becuase I'm so pissed off at the world.

I need to feel Christ's love for them but I can't. I'm just angry.

Sometimes you read things that just...are beautiful. School has been strange lately. It's been a mixture of joy and anger. It's ridiculous how much I enjoy teaching CompGov...obsessive you might say. Because of my obsession, I have been immersing myself in my curriculum. However, I'll have you know that balance has finally come to my life. Well, more than usual, at least. When I immerse myself in work, I love it. So I get a lot done. I am mostly caught up with grading (and have been for a while now). I have begun habitually taking up space at a coffee place in Renton, which I love for many many reasons. The result is I have free time and have to dispose of it somehow. If I don't, then I work more. For instance, last Friday I had an awful, awful day. I was very angry. I don't think I've been that filled with anger before and there really wasn't a good reason for it. But, I could feel it, I was so angry. I was supposed to have gotten a lot done but didn't. Finals. Ech...I don't want to go into it. BUT ANYWAY, I headed to my coffee shop because I just wanted to get out. And then I thought, I should go to a movie. I need to learn to do things on my own, especially since Friday traffic would keep most of my friends from joining me. I ended up spending about 3 1/2 hours sitting in my coffee shop, at my table, with my curriculum materials spread all over my table, planning and reading and watching videos about Russia. Yes, I was planning on a Friday night and I was soooooo happy! But it made me feel sooooo much better! It was relaxing to me! I love learning about Russia and here I was, doing just that, no pressure. Plus, it put me in such a good mood and traffic was gone by then, that I called Margie and we went to the movie too!

But anyway...I do have more balance. Last week I went to dinner and the ballet with girlfriends. Margie joined me in Bellevue to go to my salon. The week before I went to a Superbowl party, had dinner and a movie with the girls, watched a friend test for his green belt, and then tonight...since I had worked so hard in the last few days that I didn't have that much to do, I came home and read a book.

That's why I'm writing. Because after finishing that book and sobbing for the many things I got out of it, my mind was rushed with all these thoughts. It was like they were all scrambling over each other to rush out first. And I thought of how much I've been enjoying life lately. And I thought about how beautiful some people are. I thought how much I wish I had read that book with a book club. I thought about how wonderful it was that I had time to read that book tonight and that it's still not so late that I can't get my work done that I put off. I thought of the ballet and beauty. It reminded me of class. The last two days I have been a passionate teacher. I lost my voice today. I was teaching the kids about Marxism, and how Leninism and Stalinism depart from Marxism and...well, you don't need to know what. But even though it was straight lecture, the kids were so immersed. They questioned and then argued and then questioned more and I explained and teased and read to them from Marx. And they were intrigued and I was on fire, energized by their engagement in the lesson. And when I was finished reading my book I also thought of something else from today.

I thought of how bitter my voice got and soft...when I spoke of Stalin, when I confessed to the kids that I have a very heavy bias against Stalin. And I was quiet as I explained to them the theoretical difference between Marxist-Leninism and how Stalin shifts the interpretation to fit his own totalitarian goals and I got choked up in class...lol, in class!...as I mumbled to the kids that when I said that Stalin was paranoid and would brook no challenge to his authority, that I meant by the end of Stalin's rule 5/9 of the Politburo, 1,108 of 1,966 delegates to the party congress and 1/2 of the army corp were dead, as well as 20-60 million of his own people. It made me emotional, thinking of the evil that came from that one man...The kids said, 6 million in the holocaust...yes 6 million. That's awful. 20 million is awful too...

And that's why I thought of that anger I felt today, how I felt sick to my stomach thinking about that kind of evil. Stalin. Hitler. Countless souls were gathered up during the years of their terror. And yet, as is so beautifully shown through my book, some souls are just beautiful. Some things just sparkle. Some memories deserve to be recorded.

You should read, "The Book Thief."

It's beautiful.

I have to write today because I have the most awful migrane headache. Odd reason, I know. Let me explain. Today in class we had a debate. The debate was frustrating for the kids. They were not very confident and felt like they still didn't get it. But...oh my goodness, the debates were rough but soooooooo good.

I kept having to jump in to help clarify and redirect to the question. I even had to arm down some of the kids so they wouldn't bully the other side with their questions but the reason I have a migraine is not because of all those pieces. I have a migrane because I was working so fast and so hard to keep track of their arguments and keep track of who said what when, because they TOTALLY got it! TOTALLY! They thought they were confused but my seniors held a scholarly debate about challenging governmental theory and international politics like pros.

I am really proud of them this year. I get upset when they don't try. But, we are going through Comp much more theory-based this year and MAN, do they understand the theory! It's crazy! They can talk about where British political parties are headed, can discuss David Cameron's plans for Britain, and discuss deepening of authority without legitimacy of the people, the implications that legitimacy can have on political power and can already use those themes to speak in a scholarly way about political power and ecnommic control in Iran, Russia and Mexico before we've even covered the specifics. It's amazing! They are true political scientists and they don't even think they get it. I don't know how to explain it. I see the difference when last year they can identify the PM of Britain but this year they can talk about what the current economic crisis will do for his voter base and what that's going to mean when Gordon Brown calls for elections. They talk about it like it's no big deal and that kids always talk like that in compgov, but it's never been like that in this class.

Ok, I'll stop rambling. I'm really impressed with my kids right now.

The debate topic was, "Resolved: The failure to ratify the EU Constitution signaled the end of EU deepening." They talked theory. They talked about deepening authority economically even without politically, the implications of unanimity voting, of political efficacy in an uninformed populace and still addressed the fact that authority can, nevertheless, increase without popular choice. They talked about the length and scope of change and linked it to the historical EU.

My brain hurts because my students had such complicated arugmemnts (even though they sometimmes confused each other). I'm seriously impressed.

Some days I get very frustrated when I see zombie students. And then there are days when I get emails or notes like this:

"Burdick ,

I'm emailing to make sure that I have this assignment, no matter what. I also truly want to apologize for the grades that I have been getting in your class. I was lazy, but I have fixed that, I just thought I should let you know.
I don't want to let you down, well, because you're actually a great teacher and I did not take advantage of that. And I'm sorry.
Well Anyway See you in class

Jeff Hotes"